Your thoughts may be the most important thing.
It determines how you lead your life. What you do with your life. How you talk to yourself. What you think about others.
It’s amazing how the inner journey is so vast and never ending. Just as the external world is, our inner world is even more vast. I do feel as if my journey to see the world is a metaphor for my search and journey within myself.
Ever since I realized how important it is to give my spiritual self more attention, I’ve become more in awe of the world, more in awe of what I’m capable of, more grateful, more open, more loving, more fired up to fully live life and more blissful. I have glimpses of feeling invincible… right now I feel like that’s bliss. I just have this certain, knowing feeling of whatever I truly want to work toward in life is possible. So reach for the stars… because you can and you will. This feeling of certainty… I think it’s coming from a really authentic place.
What does this feeling feel like? It feels like there’s nothing holding you back. You’re free to move the way you want to move. You’re free to be who you actually are. You’re free to do whatever you’re called to do. A sense of lightness. Nothing is weighing you down. No past emotion, no negative self-talk, no hurt, no resentment, no hatred. Nothing heavy. Only expansive feelings. It’s amazing how that can change the way you physically feel: relaxed and untethered.
Sometimes I feel myself wanting to make this journey extraordinary… and forgetting that it’s first and foremost for my spiritual growth. So I know that my ego will occasionally fight it’s way in but maybe I need to become friends with it. Like I have with fear. Now befriend all of your ego. All the little ugly parts of it that you’re ashamed of. Embrace it because it’s not going to go away.
So since my ego will always be on this journey with me, let’s become best friends with it. Know it the best I can so I can cater to it as well. It’s that part of me that wants something materialistic once in a while, the part of me that desires sex, the part of me that wants to save and spend as little as possible, the part that struggles to completely love my faults (appearance and inability to be emotionally vulnerable/available). Shake hands with it. You’re in this ride together. Just make sure your spirit is in the lead. Just as my curiosity is in the lead and fear is a companion who keeps me safe when there’s real danger.
Without my ego, I wouldn’t have learned everything that I had. It was because my ego was so hurt that I had to reevaluate my life and see what I was doing that caused this pain. My ego is was my biggest teacher. That’s right, you hear that ego… this wouldn’t have been possible without you. You were an integral part. Particularly during those 23 years of my life where you ruled my thoughts. Now it’s inner self that has the reigns. It’s finally my turn and I’m in control of my life now. Let’s see where I take it.