I’ve spent the last few years focused on one goal. That goal was to be honest with myself. I was trying to put intuitive feeling over logical thought. I wanted to feel alive, excited, joyful, fulfilled, at peace with life…
At the time, I felt like I was holding onto resentment and needed to forgive a hand-full of people. I felt like my current job was slowly sucking the life out of me. I felt like I needed to follow what lit a fire in me. I felt like I needed to put my needs in front of everyone else’s for a change. These were difficult things to admit and accept but in order for me to stay honest, I needed to honor them and face them.
I eventually decided to save up, sell my things, quit my job and set out on an indefinite solo-journey of self-discovery. This is what I honestly needed and wanted even though nothing was certain and there was very little rational for it. I felt more excited about the possibilities rather than paralyzed by the unknown.
Over time, my intuition started to get stronger and it allowed my limiting beliefs to fall to the side, one by one. I always knew they were keeping me small (i.e. I’m not an adventurer, I like security, I’m responsible, I’m a people-pleaser who would rather suffer in silence than voice my honest feelings). I believe that my intuition is the voice of my soul and that that is the true me.
My soul is perfect and whole. It is permanent and will never change. Every other part of me (my health, body, mind, relationships, career, ego, etc) is ever changing. The past and the future are figments of my memory or imagination. When I remind myself that my soul is the real me, the only constant. I realize that I am intrinsically whole and perfect as I am in this moment. I realize that the acceptance, love and affection I’ve been longing for was already within me.
I now show every part of myself kindness and respect. I’m reminded that my health, body and ego are precious gifts that help me function in the world, without it my soul would not have a vessel nor agency to live a meaningful life. My mind is a powerful tool to strategically take action. My relationships are what feed my soul with deep love and connection. My career has enabled me to grow and learn in a challenging environment.
I know that everyone else is a soul and therefore, they too are already whole and perfect. We are equally capable of the most dreadful crimes and the most beautiful sacrifices. I accept them for who they are and look at them with love and empathy. Everyone’s purpose is to give their soul a voice in the world. Those who do seemingly horrific acts have allowed hatred, fear, anger take the lead.
We are all souls, living in a painful yet beautiful human experience. Struggling to understand and maneuver through the day to day as best we can. If we all detached a little bit from our concrete definition of who we are, I think we would be able to live more openly and freely. Uninhibited by our preconceived notions of what defines us and what we’re capable of.
You can start to view your neurosis with a bit more kindness and less hatred and judgement. You may accept those things as they are and look at them as your teacher… ironically, they will slowly start to recede as you shed light on them and recognize them as a cry for love.
Whenever I’m anxious and paralyzed, I know fear has entered my body. I know I need to show more love. And gently shift from lack to gratitude.
Whenever I’m overjoyed I know my soul is singing. I feel alive and vibrant. This is my true self. This is the state in which magic happens.