(Photo: bikesh deshar from unsplash)
PRlVATE 1 – 1 SESSIONS
A dose of truth and sanity in a world that makes no sense.
To exit this mass delusion, there seems to be an acclimating to the unknown.
We’ve never truly been on our own, able to stand on our own. Because since we were young we’ve been taught to listen to authority and to not trust ourselves. We lost touch. We became so far removed, so detached, from what was already right here. This magnificent, intelligent organism becomes suffocated by the arrogance of knowledge, power and control. We live life trying to emulate those that are the most deluded. We learn to objectify ourselves and everyone and everything around us. Desperate to control and manipulate it into whatever we deem worthy & desirable. And little do we know that that’s what makes our bodies so sick.
So we go to the healthcare system. We go to religion & the church. To spiritual figures and teachers. We go to all kinds of gurus, saints, channelers, psychics & healers. And perhaps we find out that the mass majority of them are still running on delusion, power and control. Just dressed in a different outfit. Using the idea of freedom to chain you again, unknowingly. No real clarity is there. Most are just selling you their personal perspective, system, method, practice, imagination or doctrine. Perhaps just regurgitating scripture or the words of another, because they do not trust themselves and do not feel safe unless they copy someone else.
They are not free.
They are actually living in total fear.
And truly, there’s nothing really wrong with any of it, but I can’t deny that recognizing this was an immense part of how this body woke the f*ck up. And if you haven’t felt disturbed by how deeply conned we’ve all been, in so many areas, you’re not seeing the truth. When you truly see that most out there, are not that different from a con-artist (of course there are degrees), and the everyday business man, you’re closer to freedom than most. The clarity that you can come to is that you yourself have to live it. Walk it. See this for yourself. And only then is it clearer that only the rare few are actually speaking and living from this.
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If someone is not empty & free,
they cannot guide anyone else to freedom.
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Dare to be among the few that forge their own path. And see for yourself that it’s possible to live with depth, sincerity, honesty & clarity. See that it’s possible to live completely as ‘yourself’… unapologetically. No longer fooling yourself and others. It is the greatest act of courage. And yet, most of the time you won’t feel like it is because you don’t really have a choice anymore. Most of the time as you’re in the unknown, you won’t be sure about what’s happening. All the (made-up) certainty that was consumed throughout life slowly gets stripped away.
This is an unfolding, an unraveling from all the chains that have been accumulated, including spirituality and the whole idea of ‘awakening’ itself. ‘Enlightenment’ is what got me interested in this to begin with, over 14 years ago, but the person can’t help but assume that you get there by mimicking. Basically pretending and molding yourself again, into a new identity, a new self with a new lifestyle. That’s all it knows how to do. We’re used to suppressing ourselves and acting enlightened, spiritual, aware, unconditionally loving, compassionate, etc. Someone I used to follow, way back when, once said, ‘this is just a role I’m playing…’ so it was admitted in plain sight, and yet I and so many others were just too lost and brainwashed to recognize that there’s no real clarity there, we were following a person and projecting a shit ton of specialness onto them, holding onto every word and concept. ‘Enlightenment’ is used as another escape and dream. And largely most don’t even know that that’s what they’re doing. Most spiritual figures are marketing and selling it in that way, as if you can practice your way to this. It’s all about controlling and managing the self again. They don’t know any better but it couldn’t be further from what this is actually like.
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You’ll discover that you never needed to be told
how to live, breathe, think, meditate, exist…
This is a great unwinding. A great heartbreak.
A great loss of everything you hoped for,
dreamt of, believed in.
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Intermittently, during this, you may feel ‘love’, ‘compassion’, ‘space’ and ‘awareness’ (these are all empty words) but it’s not because you practiced it or did it, it just appeared because you stopped controlling in the old way, because you’re simply less and less there. Everything slowly becomes more and more empty and less and less recognizable in the old way. With less interpretation and knowing of what it is. Everything that you were so sure about before, incrementally starts to disappears. It’s all seen as fresh and new. As if you’re experiencing it for the first time. Because you are. You see that you’ve never truly loved before, you’ve never known anyone before, you never even knew yourself.
During this, ‘past trauma’ will most likely re-emerge because now there’s actual space when there’s less hoping, dreaming and chasing. And also because it was never fully processed as a person or with a person. It’s just not possible there. And that’s just the way it is. That controlling energy is living on top of all the wounding and confusion so it can’t fully emerge. It’s normal for certain ‘coping mechanisms’ to re-appear as your body processes things from this emptier, yet fuller place, it’s new territory. And you feel things to a deeper depth. It’s okay, it’s all okay. The body is aclimating. You’ll see that eventually the body feels the effects of ‘unhealthy’ comforts and letting it go might happen largely on it’s own, in its own time, when it feels more like poison rather than soothing. Or it just becomes irrelevant. Sort of like how being in nature just naturally fell away on it’s own because the body had healed enough to not recognize the difference between environments anymore. It doesn’t mean it can’t happen, but there’s no need within that’s grasping even in the slightest anymore. And you’ll see that it all has a life of it’s own now. Things seem to stop, not from a place of reprimand, but rather from not feeling satisfied with it in the old way. You keep seeing everything in a completely different way. Over and over again. With less and less clutter. The less you’re there, the more alive the body becomes. And when you think you’re done… you empty out even further and it’s such a surprise how thorough this actually is.
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This is the greatest gift that anyone can be given.
To be stripped bare of all chains. To have ventured to the deepest, darkest depths. To have braved the great unknown and all of its flavors & nuances. To be rigorously rinsed through a massive void. To see that there is no real difference between life & death. And to truly see that the body can handle ANYTHING.
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This ultimately leaves the body totally and completely empty. Empty of burdens and attachments. Empty of desperation, arrogance and desire. Empty of insanity. Empty of dis-ease. This is actual freedom. The only true freedom. Everything is wiped clean. Over and over again. This is true health and peace. But it comes with a cost… ‘you.’ You’re almost given a second chance at life but this time it’s no-one’s life. That’s the only reason it’s this free.
Everyday I’m learning from the body. Everyday the body shows me how it heals, how it processes, how unbelievably intelligent and wise it is without ‘me’. Often it feels like I’m gifted with something new, I’m shown something new. And I feel unbelievably blessed and grateful to have lost everything… in order for there to simply be EVERYTHING. I go about life and see that there’s nothing interfering anymore. Everything is clean and empty. There’s a smoothness that was never possible before even when there are ‘difficulties.’
This is what I’ve been looking for my whole life. In drugs, sex, attention, approval, make-up, fitness, diets, extreme health habits, love, relationships, travel, books, fashion, food, coffee, meditation, self-love, practices, affirmations, routines, music, art, entertainment…
There’s no maintaining and acting of any kind anymore. No energy is being wasted on propping up any type of facade. This is a depth of peace that can’t be described nor disturbed. It’s not dependent on external circumstances or possessions. You become unbothered within but only because you’ve (metaphorically and sometimes actually) left it all behind.
Felt it all. Been through it all.
And you’ve seen for yourself…
the true potential that’s always been here.
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All the delusion & arrogance of humanity
is suffocating the body’s true fierceness,
power and natural ability to heal.
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BOOK SESSION BELOW
[Available via Zoom]
These sessions are completely confidential (except for the trial option where it is clearly stated otherwise). They are completely tailored to you and everything is welcome. Any curiosities, confusions, difficulties, if you just want to connect or if you want to have a conversation and receive some feedback and context. I would be happy to provide that.
I am here as support for whatever you may be going through. It’s a space where you can share your raw truths, fears and vulnerabilities, which is largely what remains when all the bullshit & spiritual nonsense is stripped away. It’s kind of where the real stuff happens. All the accumulated knowledge of what this is and how you should and shouldn’t be can be seen as a huge part of why we suffer and struggle so much. It’s largely what prevents this unraveling from taking place. And you will see that most are living on top of a well of unworthiness, hurt, pain, anxiety, loneliness, fear, shame, wrongness, doubt… It takes so much unwinding to actually unravel it all and stop living from a confused place. (Just for context, I went through this with my dear friend Marc and even with such reliable support, it took us both nearly 4 years to truly empty out. And it’s clear that the body is still processing without the self. It’s a shit ton clearer but it keeps refining is subtle yet profound ways on it’s own and it’s fascinating. Every year or so it had such a different flavor and tone. It was amazing to see what it’s like to be a ‘human’ and to see humanity from all these different layers and vantage points.)
Basically, I would be honored to meet you exactly as you are. Wherever you may be. As a fellow ‘human’ that’s brave enough for simply existing, let alone willing to venture into the unknown in this way (or perhaps just curious about it, it’s all welcome).
Please email me if you would like a different date/time: suzannenonduality@gmail.com
A calendar event & confirmation email will be sent to you after booking and a reminder email will be sent to you 1hr before the session. Thank you so much.
– Suzanne☆
Explore the documentation of the death of ‘me’
… and life after death:
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PLEASE REVIEW TERMS BEFORE BOOKING:
DISCLAIMER: There is no desire to stick to any title or label
ZOOM LINK: The zoom link can be found in the confirmation email, reminder email (sent 1hr before meeting) or the calendar event
RECORDING: Let me know at the beginning of the session if you’d like to record it for your own private use. It will be emailed to you and deleted 1 week after
REFUND / CANCELLATION: All bookings are final
RESCHEDULE: You are welcome to reschedule 5 days before session through the booking system
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☆If the calendar isn’t loading, try this link:
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VOICE CALL WITH MARC
Marc is available for voice calls through Whatsapp (GMT / BST timezone)
These calls are completely confidential
Rate: £70/hr or £95/1.5 hr
Email: marcnolannoonehere@outlook.com
AN INVISIBLE LOVE STORY
This is a little tribute to my dear friend Marc
We killed and healed each other
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