This is it. This is absolutely stunning and free.
It’s really as if a veil dissolved and now there’s just this edgeless unknown… and no-one left to care or be scared or feel free… The sense of someone getting and loosing, achieving and failing, winning and loosing. All of that is gone. Not accessible. It just isn’t real anymore. Non-existent.
It’s impossible to claim or own anything.
And yet ordinary life is just lived. The body just thinks, speaks and does… its simple… and ordinary. Totally unbound and edgeless.
It’s amazing how real the personal reality can feel. And there’s such a beauty to it. It is tight and restricted when seen from this boundlessness… and it’s a b*tch to get out of, not that anyone could actually get out of it… but it really is a mysterious trick, hypnosis, illusion… quite magical.
I don’t miss it… there’s just a reflection that seems to be happening. An ability to remember what it was like, and a lingering amazement with how unbelievably real it felt. It’s not that it’s convincing… it just is ‘my reality’ as long as it appears. If you want to tell a story, I guess it’s a functioning of the brain, and apparently it can just stop playing this trick… stop projecting this illusion. But it doesn’t seem as simple as that, there is an energetic release, let-go or surrender.
Often even if it’s a sudden seeing, there can still be an unraveling for a bit… and this seems to happen in time, even though it doesn’t exist. Until it all just stops. And it’s seem that this was FULL STOP all along… There was absolutely no beginning or end or way of understanding any of this. As things were crumbling, there was a making sense of what’s going… and then that dissolves too. That was all part of the grand illusion. Now, absolutely nothing makes sense.
Seeing beyond the illusion is an impossibility until it actually just becomes clear. It crumbles on it’s own… I’m not saying that doing things or talking to another isn’t a part of this crumbling. It’s just seen that all of it is a mystery. As long as there’s a sense of doership and control, it will feel like there’s a way, that something is happening or that the story is unraveling… And then it can just become more obvious that everything is happening on its own… including the ‘practices’ and the choice to talk to another. Everything is mysteriously happening. And nothing is actually happening. It’s all a story and an interpretation which isn’t real. Beautiful, but all made-up.
The clarity is that no-one ever knew anything.
And until this is revealed… the sense of knowing is the sense of being lost. All gurus and spiritual teachers are the blind leading the blind. Knowing leading knowing. Confinement leading confinement. And this won’t be obvious until it’s just obvious. And there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s actually all innocent… But annoyance can arise sometimes when the conviction in all the arrogance is played up to the max. It’s sometimes seen as a circus. And I don’t mean to be offensive… Because again, it can feel absolutely real and it is your whole reality. Once upon a time, I was definitely a part of this circus, and didn’t know it.
Speaking about anything, including nothing, is something. It’s still a story. So in a way, there really is no escaping the circus. Ultimately, there is no difference or distinction.
The clarity is that there’s no-one anywhere and we never knew sh*t.
It’s a falling away of energetic beliefs and identifies that we’ve picked up throughout our apparent life. And the unveiling of that is often painful… sometimes it can feel like the body is dying…
The false skin is being removed and it can feel horrific. This skin was the identity… and it does anything to keep itself on, to protect the body, to protect itself from death… But it can never know that it itself is what’s suffocating the body, causing intense suffering, it itself is the veil, the dream, the confinement or personal cage. It often believes it’s keeping us safe by keeping us small, feeling not good enough… and from there we start to act lower then or higher then. Desperately trying to stay relevant.
And I don’t mean this to sound negative. I say this from a place where everything is this. Everything is already free, everything is already liberated and enlightened. When one human body seems to shed it’s false skin, then every human body is suddenly free as well. The projection of a non-existent self is no longer possible.
There can still be the understanding that it’s not obvious when that false skin feels really real. And speaking and actions still seem to happen accordingly. But it’s all done from this vastness. Judgement and discernment arises from this unknown infinity.
This cannot be mimicked… often it’s tried and that happened here as well. But what’s being pointed to is the absolute dissolving of you and your entire world. A dismantling… and it’s often not that pretty. Unless it takes apparent years for the unraveling and it goes largely unnoticed… that sounds really nice compared to how it seemingly unfolded here. But there isn’t even a care about that either. It’s a mere memory… totally impersonal and empty. Free.
Everything is as it is… Completely free. Free to appear and feel bound. All of it is utter completion. Perfection.