This was FULL STOP all along

August 8, 2022
…Often even if it’s a sudden seeing, there can still be an unraveling for a bit… and this seems to happen in time. Until it all just stops. And it’s seem that this was ‘full-stop’ all along… There was absolutely no beginning or end or way of understanding any of this. That was all part of the grand illusion. And now it seems like a distant memory.
Seeing beyond the illusion is an impossibility until it actually just becomes more clear. It crumbles on it’s own… I’m not saying that doing things or talking to another isn’t a part of this crumbling. It’s just seen that all of it is a mystery. As long as there’s a sense of doership and control, it will feel like there’s a way, that something is happening or that the story is unraveling… And then it can just become more obvious that everything is happening on its own… including the ‘practices’ and talking to another. Everything is mysteriously happening. And nothing is actually happening…

No security for ‘me’

July 20, 2022

There’s no way to separate anything from another… because it’s all this singular energy. This nothingness dancing and playing. Whether this is obvious or not, it doesn’t matter. It only matters to the one that feels separate and that separation is not there already.
Everything is so thoroughly even and equal. No person is seen anywhere… everything is already fully free and liberated. It’s so clearly seen that no-one is anywhere and that it’s all an energetic effect that makes it feel like there is actual duality. And isn’t that amazing. Isn’t that a wonder. Isn’t that magnificent.
Perhaps not for ‘me.’

At my own funeral

July 18, 2022
…I was able to see the ‘truth’ of my whole life. How it actually was and how truly difficult it was for me. I suffered so much, I was desperate for an out.
And then I truly saw the deep suffering of my parents, of everyone… the amount of pain and burden that the person holds is immense… but they won’t see the full extent of it until they die.
It felt like I was alive and at my own funeral.
But I was the only one mourning my loss because no one else knew what was going on. Except for one companion that has grown so dear to me… who was mourning his own death at the same time.
My parents, my friends, no-one knew how devastated I felt.
And all of that is okay now. It was even okay while it was apparently happening.
There was still a raw beauty to it all…

Immersed in bliss

June 14, 2022
Obviously that’s just an expression.
No one is immersed but there’s just this deliciousness in being. Pure being. Just being. I don’t really know what that means, but I’m just putting words to the indescribable.
I can sit for hours on a park bench and there’s just total satisfaction, without the notion that it’s satisfying… it’s difficult to explain. No thoughts. Even if thoughts arise, they’re like a feather falling from the sky. Barely there. No weight to them.
I guess this is what spiritual seekers are told to do… to mimic this all pervading being-ness. A peace beyond all understanding. And the danger in expressing how yummy this is is that people might then really want it. It can intensify the seeking.
But there, I just expressed how it can be misleading and now I’m gonna continue expressing…

Motionless movement

May 4, 2022
It’s all appearances. It seems to be there, seems to be happening. But the emptiness of it all is so clear. Everything is so thoroughly empty. There is a ‘peace’ to this. A ‘neutrality.’ Everything that’s happening is gone. Coming and going. Appearing and disappearing…

Ordinary life for no-one

May 3, 2022
It feels like everything that was real to ‘me’ has vanished. Stories can still appear and be told but they feel like empty words. There was a devastation in loosing the flavor of the person. There is a unique type of something that is infused with the person. And it was painful to see that go…

Consumed by this Brutal Love

May 2, 2022
There’s really no going back now. It felt like the ‘me’ was screaming for it’s life back… Having it’s last hurrah. Before it melted back into its birth place. It’s home… nothing-ness. How can it resurrect itself? It seems impossible now…

All make-believe

March 23, 2022
Heaven and hell don’t really exist
They are a part of the dream
A part of the Self-created world
Imagination by the ‘me’
How remarkably mysterious is that?
The ‘me’ birthed the big bang theory
Explosions galore, fireworks everywhere
Yet nothing is happening
There is no truth
Nothing is false
It’s all utterly futile
Believing the sufferings of the past was needed for a better now. Believing a better future is just around the horizon
Hope and hopelessness
Faith and faithlessness
A never ending cycle
Within the dream…

The ‘me’ can’t undo itself

March 22, 2022
The ‘me’ can’t see beyond itself
The ‘me’ is the veil
The ‘me’ is the dream, is the story
The ‘me’ creates it’s own special reality, it’s own world
Me, mine, I… all of these words are still used
But no-one is behind them
No-one is owning them
They are completely empty
They mean nothing
They point to nothing, refer to nothing
And yet it’s still used and said,
‘I love this message.’

(In)secure in the infinite

March 13, 2022
…Total non-sense
Nothing can be said
There’s no certainty
Nothing can be held onto
There’s only security
There’s just infinity
Safety in nothing-ness
Security in the unknown
The absence is terrifying
The uncertainty is threatening
For no-one…
Empty words
W O R D S . . .
It’s all made-up
By no-one, by nothing