September 6, 2022
Love was always everything
This love is totally empty
Empty of meaning and value
It just is
It can’t be earned or taken away
It was always fully available
There’s no need to understand these words
September 6, 2022
Life was never against ‘you’
‘You’ were against life
And when ‘you’ dissolve
It’s seen that ‘you’ were life…
September 5, 2022
No more filter.
No more experiencer.
Just full-on everything.
No-one is feeling it, or hearing it, it simply is.
No more protection, and no more need for it.
This is absolute freedom.
And no-one has it.
It just is.
August 8, 2022
…Often even if it’s a sudden seeing, there can still be an unraveling for a bit… and this seems to happen in time. Until it all just stops. And it’s seem that this was ‘full-stop’ all along… There was absolutely no beginning or end or way of understanding any of this. That was all part of the grand illusion. And now it seems like a distant memory.
Seeing beyond the illusion is an impossibility until it actually just becomes more clear. It crumbles on it’s own… I’m not saying that doing things or talking to another isn’t a part of this crumbling. It’s just seen that all of it is a mystery. As long as there’s a sense of doership and control, it will feel like there’s a way, that something is happening or that the story is unraveling… And then it can just become more obvious that everything is happening on its own… including the ‘practices’ and talking to another. Everything is mysteriously happening. And nothing is actually happening…
July 20, 2022
There’s no way to separate anything from another… because it’s all this singular energy. This nothingness dancing and playing. Whether this is obvious or not, it doesn’t matter. It only matters to the one that feels separate and that separation is not there already.
Everything is so thoroughly even and equal. No person is seen anywhere… everything is already fully free and liberated. It’s so clearly seen that no-one is anywhere and that it’s all an energetic effect that makes it feel like there is actual duality. And isn’t that amazing. Isn’t that a wonder. Isn’t that magnificent.
Perhaps not for ‘me.’
July 18, 2022
…I was able to see the ‘truth’ of my whole life. How it actually was and how truly difficult it was for me. I suffered so much, I was desperate for an out.
And then I truly saw the deep suffering of my parents, of everyone… the amount of pain and burden that the person holds is immense… but they won’t see the full extent of it until they die.
It felt like I was alive and at my own funeral.
But I was the only one mourning my loss because no one else knew what was going on. Except for one companion that has grown so dear to me… who was mourning his own death at the same time.
My parents, my friends, no-one knew how devastated I felt.
And all of that is okay now. It was even okay while it was apparently happening.
There was still a raw beauty to it all…
June 14, 2022
Obviously that’s just an expression.
No one is immersed but there’s just this deliciousness in being. Pure being. Just being. I don’t really know what that means, but I’m just putting words to the indescribable.
I can sit for hours on a park bench and there’s just total satisfaction, without the notion that it’s satisfying… it’s difficult to explain. No thoughts. Even if thoughts arise, they’re like a feather falling from the sky. Barely there. No weight to them.
I guess this is what spiritual seekers are told to do… to mimic this all pervading being-ness. A peace beyond all understanding. And the danger in expressing how yummy this is is that people might then really want it. It can intensify the seeking.
But there, I just expressed how it can be misleading and now I’m gonna continue expressing…
May 4, 2022
It’s all appearances. It seems to be there, seems to be happening. But the emptiness of it all is so clear. Everything is so thoroughly empty. There is a ‘peace’ to this. A ‘neutrality.’ Everything that’s happening is gone. Coming and going. Appearing and disappearing…
May 3, 2022
It feels like everything that was real to ‘me’ has vanished. Stories can still appear and be told but they feel like empty words. There was a devastation in loosing the flavor of the person. There is a unique type of something that is infused with the person. And it was painful to see that go…
May 2, 2022
There’s really no going back now. It felt like the ‘me’ was screaming for it’s life back… Having it’s last hurrah. Before it melted back into its birth place. It’s home… nothing-ness. How can it resurrect itself? It seems impossible now…